Faux Pasta: A Sister Cooking Blog

Gorgonzola-Butternut Squash Tart This tart dough! You...

Thu, 16 May 2013 12:30:00 -0700

Gorgonzola-Butternut Squash Tart

This tart dough! You won’t believe how easy and surprisingly successful it is. No food processor, no ice-cold butter, no chilling the dough. It turned out delightfully flakey and the best part of this gorgonzola butternut squash tart. Now, I like blue cheese. But if you’re going to bring this to a potluck (as I did), I’d honestly use gruyere or goat cheese or something mild instead. Apparently not everybody is into moldy stank in their dinners? Who knew?

This recipe is infinitely flexible since I totally made it up and by the Grace of Our Lord In heaven it somehow turned out totally delicious. This is your town, kittycat, and ain’t nobody gonna declaw you so you tweak away. I surreptitiously snuck home the leftovers, which might be terrible potluck etiquette.

French Tart Dough Recipe (from David Lebovitz)

6 tbsp butter
3 tbsp water
1 tbsp olive oil
1 tbsp sugar
1/2 tsp of salt
1- 1½ cups of flour

Toss the sugar, salt, butter, oil, and water in a big glass bowl and place it in the oven at 400º. Set a timer for about fifteen minutes and pull it out once the butter starts to brown around the edges. Being careful to hold the bowl with a heat-proof towel, dump in about a cup of flour and mix it with a wooden spoon until it becomes a ball that pulls away from the sides. I needed about another half cup to get it to the right texture - pliable but not a total oil-bomb.

When it’s cool enough to handle, press it into a 9” tart shell and use your fingers to press it into the sides. Reserve a little bit of the dough, about a ‘raspberry,’ David suggests, for cracks - though I didn’t have any. Prick the dough with a fork a few times and slide it back in the oven for another 10 minutes, until golden brown.

Gorgonzola and Butternut Squash Filling

1 small butternut squash
oil, salt, and pepper

Peel that squash and cube it into lil cubes. I know, it sucks, just do it, it’s full of vitamin A and you only grow when you challenge yourself. Toss it with some olive oil, salt, and pepper and roast it (perhaps when you’re melting your butter for the tart shell?) at 400º for 20 minutes, until caramelized on the edges. You’ll have extra to throw in your salads, deal with it.

½ cup cottage cheese
¼ greek yogurt or sour cream or, whatever, Yoplait Whips Key Lime Pie, just feel it out, let the spirit guide you
4 oz cheese of your choosing, such as gorgonzola, feta, grated gruyere, Whipped Philadelphia Lite Cream Cheese with Savory Under the Tuscan Sun Herbs
1 egg
1-2 tbsp of water (maybe!)

Food processor the dickens out of all that business, adding a little bit of water if it’s too thick. You don’t want it sludgy but you don’t want it runny; angle for a medium-pourin’ custard.

Pour it into your pre-cooked tart shell as high up as the edges go, and drop in your roasted butternut squash in a single layer. Or maybe two if you can swing it! Why not. And for the love of all that is good don’t forget to handle your tart shell by the sides so the ring doesn’t fall down and burn your arm or spill the innards! Bake it all at 350º for 40 minutes and let it cool completely before handling.

-Paulina

I usually approach Bon Appetit with slight trepidation, having...

Sat, 11 May 2013 17:53:00 -0700

I usually approach Bon Appetit with slight trepidation, having been burned by a few unreliable recipes. But whaaaat! These pea pancakes from the Canal House column were divine, little pop-rocks of sweet peas (and girlfriend you know I used frozen) exploding in your mouth as a foil to the salty, perfectly textured pancake batter. I found myself pulling one more out of the Tupperware and eating it ham-fisted and cold from the fridge and still being wildly impressed.

Pea Pancakes (adapted from Bon Appetit)

Ingredients

1 cup frozen peas
1 teaspoon kosher salt plus more
3 large eggs
1 cup cottage cheese
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
2 tablespoons olive oil plus more for skillet
1/4 cup parsley
1/4 cup (1/2 stick) salted butter, melted

Preparation

Purée eggs, cottage cheese, flour, 2 tablespoons oil, 1 tablespoon of water, 1 teaspoon salt, and the parsley in a blender or food processor until smooth. You’re going to feel like this isn’t enough and start scouring your spice cabinet for more things to put in it; hold yourself back I swear this is worth it. Scoop the batter into a bowl and mix in that cup of peas.
Working in batches, add batter to a medium-hot non-stick skillet, which you oil with spray or a paper towel + oil, by 1/4-cupfuls, spreading out to 3-inch-4-inch rounds with a spoon. Cook pancakes until bubbles form on top, about 3 minutes. Flip and cook until pancakes are browned on bottom and the centers are just cooked through, about 2 minutes longer.
BA suggests serving them drizzled with butter and scallions, and I suggest just wadding them up and shoving them into your mouth.

-Paulina

All about green things lately: green curry (go get you some Mae...

Thu, 09 May 2013 16:28:13 -0700

All about green things lately: green curry (go get you some Mae Ploy paste in the bag in the tub, full fat coconut milk, potatoes, chicken, green beans, extra ginger and garlic, last minute spinach addition) and blistered Japanese peppers that are fake Padrons. Last night was a traditional Dutch dish of mashed potatoes, kale, green garlic, and spicy sausage. Starting to get back into my cooking groove, finally!
- Nellie

We wanted so badly to love Salt and Straw. Everybody loves Salt...

Mon, 06 May 2013 12:00:37 -0700

We wanted so badly to love Salt and Straw. Everybody loves Salt and Straw! It’s the ice cream darling of Portland and full of mugs festooned with little animal drawings, lesbians scooping ice cream, a garbage can informing you that “We compost everything here.” (Of course you do.)

But honestly? It was icy and tasted like it was made with skim milk. This isn’t Yogurtland, mama needs dat CREAM.

-Paulina

Sistercation! Nellie just got on her plane and I already miss...

Sun, 05 May 2013 21:05:01 -0700

Sistercation! Nellie just got on her plane and I already miss her so much. Portland was gorgeous. We happily hiked, shopped (matching Baggu backpacks, precious) and ate our way through the city starting with Tasty n’ Alder’s homemade cottage cheese and pineapple jam, then the flakiest fried-chicken biscuit of all time, divinely buttery and crumbly.

(Full disclosure ahead: we had a brief dalliance with a McDonald’s snack wrap at some point, which mostly ended up on Nellie’s yoga pants.)

-Paulina

When you peel $8 of baby artichokes in 46 minutes, you really...

Wed, 01 May 2013 12:39:10 -0700

When you peel $8 of baby artichokes in 46 minutes, you really don’t want to do what I do. I slopped their burnt sloppy hearts all over a giant white platter, and grinned beatifically at my romantic roommate, shiftily announcing, “it’s artichoke season!” When he asks you if there is anything else for dinner, it is also best not to whip up some week old ricotta with dried Italian spices and olive oil, the chalkiness of which will only serve to juxtapose against the mushiness of your artichoke disaster. Brb, gonna go cover myself in pea tendrils and cry.
- Nellie

Like the classic tale of King Midas, everything I touch turns to...

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 18:34:48 -0700

Like the classic tale of King Midas, everything I touch turns to gold. And by gold I mean I crappy food: eggplant wontons in too-thin wrappers and burst out of the sides, tarte tatin that caved in on itself while still undercooked, sweet potato latkes that turned to scorched, farinaceous skitters. Today I poached an egg and managed to turn all of the white into swirling shreds that deftly evaded swats from my slotted spoon.

However everything is salvaged by mashing it in a bowl and throwing some avocado and sea salt on top, right?

-Paulina

Foodie roommates are ze best: I came home to a beautiful hunk of...

Tue, 16 Apr 2013 06:44:07 -0700

Foodie roommates are ze best: I came home to a beautiful hunk of bo ssam last night, not to mention thin-sliced iberico ham and a jar full of foie. My roommate successfully executed step 2 of the recipe (here) in the Crock-Pot, so don’t let the six hour roasting time deter you.

Also, they are not kidding around about that ginger-scallion sauce. I’m reposting it here because that’s the best way to honor the magic nectar I troweled on crispy hunks of sweeeeet pork. UNF.

Ginger-Scallion Sauce

In a bowl, mix together the following:

2½ cups thinly sliced scallions, both green and white parts
½ cup peeled, minced fresh ginger
¼ cup neutral oil (like grapeseed)
1½ teaspoons light soy sauce
1 scant teaspoon sherry vinegar
½ teaspoon kosher salt, or to taste

-Paulina

Artichoke Basille pizza, I was all set to love you but...

Wed, 10 Apr 2013 10:11:28 -0700

Artichoke Basille pizza, I was all set to love you but you’re just $4.50 of artichoke snot on a brick of bread. (I’d even pick Two Brothers over you.)

-Paulina

Vanessa’s Dumplings is kind of a junk bond with a high...

Thu, 04 Apr 2013 08:17:27 -0700

Vanessa’s Dumplings is kind of a junk bond with a high return on investment, ‘cause it’s so hard to say no to a $2.50 duck pancake “sandwiche.”

-Paulina

Whoawhoawhoa which one is in the magazine and which one is the...

Sun, 31 Mar 2013 19:13:56 -0700

Whoawhoawhoa which one is in the magazine and which one is the real deal? The imposter with israeli couscous instead of orzo, carrots, and six times the recommended celery stalks. But seriously, am I going to buy all that celery just to use one stalk, Bon Appetit?

Lemony Chicken and Orzo Soup, from January Bon Appetit.

-Paulina

I need to issue a sincere apology to my dear friends Matthew and...

Sat, 30 Mar 2013 09:03:45 -0700

I need to issue a sincere apology to my dear friends Matthew and Tara, who attempted this enchilada recipe last week and, due to an error in the recipe, had to “pour salsa all over the top right now” because the “sauce ended up really chunky.”

Since then I have fixed the post to include that second cup of chicken stock and re-tested the recipe on Sunday night, vegetarianizing it with black beans, a thinly-sliced roasted potato, and caramelized onions in place of the chicken. Infinitely adaptable! What are you putting in your enchiladas?

-Paulina

Two blintzes from Kasia’s on Bedford & 8th in Williamsburg...

Fri, 29 Mar 2013 07:19:00 -0700

Two blintzes from Kasia’s on Bedford & 8th in Williamsburg (one of those perfect, unassuming, Times-New-Roman-faded-awning diners we all walk by on our way to sexier elderberry mimosa brunches.) One blintz is stuffed with “sweet cheese” (unfff) and the other with cherry pie filling, along sides of sour cream and applesauce. I heard you like dairy so I put dairy on your dairy so you could fully stretch the limits of your adult-onset lactose intolerance.

-Paulina

Shakshouka (eggs in onion, pepper and tomato sauce topped with...

Mon, 11 Mar 2013 14:17:09 -0700

Shakshouka (eggs in onion, pepper and tomato sauce topped with za’atar), smoked trout bagel sandwich, and pickle plate for Sunday brunch. All very delicious, from Beauty’s Bagels in Oakland on Telegraph. I didn’t eat all of this by myself, but I kind of wish I had! Really good coffee, too.
- Nellie

I love you, Whole Foods sandwich.

Fri, 08 Mar 2013 14:41:16 -0800

I love you, Whole Foods sandwich.

Here is the promised recipe for pork tenderloin with cranberry...

Fri, 08 Mar 2013 09:50:51 -0800

Here is the promised recipe for pork tenderloin with cranberry balsamic sauce, and butternut squash risotto with turmeric and toasted pistachios. We grilled the pork this time, it got a little dry but it was still good! If you grill it, you won’t have leftover pan juice so just use more stock.

And - yes, canned cranberry sauce. I know. You think poorly of me now. Wait until you try it.

Pork Tenderloin with Cranberry Balsamic Sauce
From Bon Appetit

Ingredients

1 1/2 tablespoons butter
1 8- to 10-ounce pork tenderloin
1/2 cup chopped onion
1 tablespoon chopped fresh rosemary
1/2 cup low-salt chicken broth
1/3 cup canned whole berry cranberry sauce
1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar
Preparation

Preheat oven to 450°F. Melt 1/2 tablespoon butter in heavy large ovenproof skillet over medium-high heat. Sprinkle pork with salt and pepper. Sear pork on all sides, about 2 minutes. Place skillet with pork in oven. Roast pork until thermometer inserted into center registers 155°F, about 10 minutes.

Meanwhile, melt remaining 1 tablespoon butter in heavy medium skillet over medium-high heat. Add onion and rosemary; sauté until onion softens, about 3 minutes. Add broth, cranberry sauce and vinegar and whisk until cranberry sauce melts, about 2 minutes.

Transfer pork to work surface. Scrape any juices from large skillet into cranberry mixture. Boil until sauce has reduced enough to coat spoon thickly, about 6 minutes. Season with salt and pepper. Slice pork and serve with sauce.

Butternut Squash Risotto with Turmeric, Goat Cheese, Tomatoes and Pistachios Because Why the Heck Not

I normally don’t mess with risotto, but I totally did this time and it was super good, in kind of a weird way.

Recipe adapted from American Brasserie by Gale Gand and Rick Tramonto

Ingredients
2 garlic cloves, minced
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
1 medium butternut squash, peeled, halved, seeded, and cut into 1/2 cubes
2 plum tomatoes, diced
1/2 cup white wine
4 cups chicken stock (or vegetable stock or water)
1 onion, chopped
Kosher salt and black pepper
3/4 cup arborio rice
2 Tbsp. butter
1-2oz soft goat cheese
Pinch tumeric
Toasted chopped pistachios (about 1/4 cup)

Directions
In a large pot of salted water, cook the squash until fork tender (12-15 minutes). Drain and set aside. Purée in blender or using immersion blender.
Bring stock to simmer and keep until needed.
Heat the butter in a heavy-bottomed saucepan over medium heat.
Add the onion and garlic and cook until the onion is translucent (about 8 minutes).
Add the rice and stir until coated with oil.
Add in the wine, stir until mostly cooked off.
Add the stock one ladlefull at a time, stir and wait until it is mostly absorbed before adding more. Repeat for ~25-30 minutes until there is no more stock.
Stir in the tumeric, cinnamon.
Stir in the squash and tomatoes.
Gently stir in the cheese.
Add salt and pepper to taste. Top with pistachios.
- Nellie

In progress: calzones. It’s 8:55 because that is when I...

Tue, 05 Mar 2013 20:59:24 -0800

In progress: calzones. It’s 8:55 because that is when I stopped working and started cooking, and although both activities are satisfying, I am freaking hungry. Going to eat the sauce out of the pan, probably. Upside: just fed the kittens tuna because we are out of their ridiculous Purina Pro dry food (pro what? Professional kittens? What next, clinical chicken kitten smart paleo diet?) and now they love me, so that is good.
All’s well that ends well. Goodnight, readers… recipes for all the progress later, of course.
- Nellie

Making butternut squash risotto and grilled pork tenderloin with...

Sun, 03 Mar 2013 18:41:13 -0800

Making butternut squash risotto and grilled pork tenderloin with cranberry balsamic sauce for dinner. Here’s kind of what mid-process looks like: hot pot of stock next to some carnoli rice mixed with sautéed onions, garlic, and white wine. Should be good!
- Nellie

Here is a forward-thinking cookbook that I bought at a used book...

Sun, 03 Mar 2013 11:57:49 -0800

Here is a forward-thinking cookbook that I bought at a used book fundraiser today. I can’t tell if these ladies are totally messing with us (another book they’ve written is called Saucepans and the Single Girl) or if they’re transcending their historical cultural context and completely breaking boundaries. OR they actually have got themselves some menfolk who need corralling. God knows the secret to keeping men happy in relationships is through recipes such as No Worry Curry Sandwiches, Pompous Paella, and Flaming Hot Winter Fruit. Take heed, food trend research analysts! Wooo-eeee, I know what my boyfriend’s having for dinner tonight. Recipe reviews to come (spoiler alert: “this fruit is burning my mouth, my sweetest”).

Blueberry Muffins with Streusel Topping Hey, I got a pound of...

Sun, 24 Feb 2013 18:27:00 -0800

Blueberry Muffins with Streusel Topping

Hey, I got a pound of blueberries with this recipe’s name on it. These muffins taste like my childhood, so this means when you eat them, you’ll be transported to the children’s department of the Wheaton Public Library asking if there are “any more books besides the ones on the shelves” because you are “all out of books to read.” Wow, finish this sentence with, “But I’m such a nerd!” and you can put me out to pasture forever (one step away from complaining how hard it was to get whisked away to the Talented and Gifted Program in elementary school while everyone sat in regular class - I did not have this experience and only marveled in the joy of being whisked away to speech therapy and remedial math class).

Hey, at least there were these muffins, the unconditional love of my family, and I finally figured out the math thing when I was 17.

Note: if you use frozen blueberries, make sure that they are still frozen or only partially thawed.

Makes 12 muffins.

Ingredients:

3/4 cup sugar
2 teaspoons grated lemon zest
2 1/4 cups all purpose flour
7 tablespoons plus 1 teaspoon unsalted butter
1 tablespoon baking powder
1 egg
1/2 cup milk
2 cups blueberries, fresh or frozen

1. Preheat the oven to 400. Put paper cups in the muffin tins because you ain’t cleaning this stuff up.
2. In a small bowl, combine a quarter cup of the sugar and 1 teaspoon of the lemon zest; crush them together until the sugar absorbs some of the lemon flavor, about 1 minute. Add 1/4 cup of the flour and 2 tablespoons of the butter. Cut into mixture until it forms coarse crumbs. Set this streusel topping aside.
3. In a large bowl, place the remaining 1/2 cup sugar and 1 teaspoon lemon zest, crush until sugar absorbs, about 1 minute. Add the remaining 2 cups flour and the baking powder and toss to blend well.
4. Nuke the remaining butter and let cool slightly. In a medium bowl, whisk together the egg, milk, and melted butter. Pour the liquid over the flour mixture and fold lightly, 3 or 4 times with a rubber spatula to partially combine. Sprinkle the blueberries over the batter and distribute evenly, using as few strokes as possible (the mixture should not be perfectly smooth and will be quite dry).
5. Quickly divide the batter among the prepared muffin cups and sprinkle about 1 tablespoon of the streusel topping per muffin. Bake in the middle of the oven until just golden, about 15-18 minutes depending on your oven.