Faux Pasta: A Sister Cooking Blog

Mother’s Day is coming up! You knew that, right? What are you doing for your mother? You should really go organize her closet. And then ask her for $20. Congratulations, you’ve reenacted my Mother’s Day Tradition Grades 3-12. 

In Beckarootie’s honor, here’s a Mama Faux Pasta (MaFoPa, the hottest neighborhood in NYC) classic recipe - prosciutto-wrapped asparagus with a side of tangerine mayonnaise. She’s been making this for dinner guests since 1985, and asparagus will break any ice with a stinky pee joke. We made it a few weekends ago for my dad’s Colombian friend Joaquim, who was highly impressed by my blondies.

Blanch your asparagus and chives in boiling water for a few minutes until tender, dunk in an ice bath. Pat them dry with paper towels and arrange in stacks of 3. Roll those puppies up like pigs in a blanket, but I guess a more accurate description would be “trees in a pig” like a wiley boar chomping redwoods all night long. Tie it with a blanched chive and snip off the ends like you’re role-playing SuperCuts. Make a mayonnaise in the blender - hell, just Google it! I’ve explained it a million times! What do you think this is, a food blog? And throw a little tangerine zest and the juice of half a tangerine in. Dip a trees-in-a-pig in the mayo and call your mom.

-Paulina

blog comments powered by Disqus

Here are all likes and reblogs for this post

  1. plumpinla reblogged this from fauxpasta
  2. cevifish reblogged this from fauxpasta
  3. thefword-food reblogged this from fauxpasta
  4. mrrobo89 reblogged this from fauxpasta
  5. angelamari003 reblogged this from fauxpasta
  6. willwegetout-ofthislittlehell reblogged this from fauxpasta
  7. 12tengku reblogged this from fauxpasta
  8. klaraandersson reblogged this from fauxpasta
  9. thelmavanahi reblogged this from fauxpasta and added:
    Mother’s Day is coming up! You knew that, right? What are you doing for your mother? You should really go organize her...
  10. ediddy21 reblogged this from fauxpasta and added:
    “What do you think this is, a food blog?”
  11. loveandcook reblogged this from fauxpasta
  12. fauxpasta posted this